I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
