It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
