that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I deserve this hangover.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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