Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
