yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Pappa wants mamma naked
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
