question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
