So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize