no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
