I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
