He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
