I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize