Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
