after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize