wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
