Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
