Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
