Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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