You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I can't put those talents on a resume
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
