Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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