I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think a kid would responsible me up
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
