I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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