just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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