Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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