All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
