dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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