She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
