i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
