Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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