Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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