People with herpes should wear stickers.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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