just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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