a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I think im going to throw up on grandma
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
