You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
