She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
