you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
