I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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