His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
