I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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