I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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