so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
