If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize