it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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