Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
