the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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