just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
