it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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