She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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