No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
