Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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