My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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