Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
