Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
