Moan for me like Helen Keller
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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