TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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