I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize