Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
