He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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