its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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