$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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