His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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