I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wish i was in the wii world.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
