Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize