That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
