plz talk dirty to me
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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