Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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