and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
