You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
