he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
